Life-changing music for women, by women
Stop it. Don’t. (Skip below for a transformative list.)
You know when you hear a song for the first time and it stops you in your tracks? You pause midstep, or freeze mid slut-drop, or your rubber-gloved hand hangs suspended in soapy limbo over unwashed dishes, or you stop snogging your boyfriend and say, “Is she talking to ME?”
You listen and then listen again and absorb every word into your bloodstream like a new gene, realising that this singer, this beautiful prophet is indeed talking exactly to you, and all your friends, and all the other people in the world who need (whether they know it yet or not) to be spoken to.
She’s telling you to not sign that contract you don’t feel good about. To write shorter text messages and read more books. Breathe properly, leave your body hair alone, and cry if you want to.
This is the Practical Advice Song. As a genre it’s nothing new: ever since Baz Luhrmann recommended wearing sunscreen back in 1998 (words written by Mary Schmich the year before) we’ve become accustomed to the received wisdom of popstars. But what’s striking about the latest division is who the advice is coming from, and whom they are offering it to. These are young, brave women who have endured, persevered and emerged scathed but strong. They are ready to share their experience - with other women still wading through their own wilderness.
We’re used to hearing young women singing about betrayal, a desire to dance and even about a quest for self-acceptance. But how often do you hear the instructions “Stop trying to have so many friends” spoken gently over a soulful R&B track by a 20-something Sheffield lass? She’s not bellyaching about a broken heart: she’s offering a three-point plan about how to put it back together.
For this week’s exercise in spreading joy, here’s a list of songs by women giving poignant, practical advice, plus who to send them to. Because if there’s anything more joyful than hearing a song that changes your life, it’s passing it on to someone else.
“I Do This All The Time”, Self Esteem
General takeaway: Hold your head up, lass. You’ve been through some shit, but at the end of the day, you are a good girl, a good tall girl, a good sturdy girl. You know not to worry about others’ expectations, whether that’s getting married, or trying to wriggle into a silly black dress.
Best piece of practical advice: “Prioritise pleasure.”
“Don't send those long paragraph texts. Stop it, don't.”
Time to listen: Any time you find yourself thinking you should go to your ex’s bbq.
Pass it on to: That friend who’s frozen in self-doubt. This will remind them how far they’ve come.
“Hard Drive”, Cassandra Jenkins
General takeaway: Take it easy, babes. Life is hard, but we take it as it comes. When your heart is broken there are people who’ll help you put it back together.
And you know, “When we lose our connection to nature, we lose our spirit, our humanity, our sense of self.” Right on.
Best piece of practical advice:
“Close your eyes
I'll count to three
Take a deep breath
Count with me (One, two, three)."
When to listen: When it all feels overwhelming. You’ll be reminded that you’re doing OK. (You are.)
Pass it on to: Someone who’s recovered from heartbreak and is trying out the brave new world. Or on a comedown.
“Free Today”, Albertine Sarges
General takeaway: You, darling, are free today! And tomorrow. And the next day! So don’t go shaking any grimy hands.
Best piece of practical advice: “Don’t sign any contract that you don’t agree to from the bottom of your heart.” AND “Relax your face, you don’t have to lie if you don’t want to.”
Time to listen: When you’ve got that buzz from doing something a little bit “fuck you”, like scowling back at leering perv, or telling someone to pick up their litter.
Pass it on to: Someone who likes taking off their bra, kicking off their shoes and swimming naked in chilly lakes.
“No”, Billy Nomates
General takeaway: Do not do anything you do not want to. What you should do, however, is twist.
Best piece of practical advice: “I won’t shave everything off I’m not 12.” AND “No to the pointless comparatives, these people mostly hate themselves, I’ve been one of them you have my word.” AND “Yes to running at night fearless.”
Time to listen: When you’re GOOD AND MAD and/or tidying your room.
Pass it on to: Someone who is GOOD AND MAD.